This year I did not set myself specific targets I wanted to reach so if I didn't reach them it would not be a failure. Nope instead I had things I wanted to work on and if I didn't get round to it this year, it is still on my list and I will consider it eventually. At the start of the year I wrote a post called Personal Changes for 2018 so I've decided to revisit that post to see some of the things I wanted to work on this year.
A big one for me this year has been anxiety. At the end of last year I barely felt like I was keeping it together and I really did not feel like myself. I had lost what made me, me but I think over the course of the year, I've got an element of that back. Before all of this I was relatively confident and I would not be afraid of my own opinion but at the end of last year I became afraid of what people thought of me and I literally questioned everything. The only thing I felt at the time was anxious and I worried about everything but now I think I've found my place and I am now more at peace with who I am. Not only that but I have told more people in my life about how I am feeling and with the more people I have told, the more I have felt at peace with it. I think I was scared about what people would think, as realistically I don't have much to be anxious about, but everyone has been really supportive. Plus most people have been through it themselves. I'm still working on it but now I can get through a whole day without a meltdown which I couldn't do at the end of last year.
At the start of the year, I was questioning everything and worrying about everything but over the course of the year I've begun to realise that no one has it together and I have only got to this place through talking to people about it. A big worry for me has been my job. We all have dreams and aspirations and it always felt like I was never going to get anywhere near mine. To be honest in that respect not a lot has changed over the year, I thought I would have a new job by now, I don't. I thought I would have moved out or even started to really consider it but I haven't but I've realised there is still time I'm only 25 so I've got time to work on this.
One of my goals was to work on things that get me closer to my dream job. Ideally I want to be a beauty editor but any job involving beauty would be great. Obviously I have continued to write my blog which in a way is creating a portfolio but other than that I have definitely been slacking. I have applied for numerous internships and I've got none of them but at least I have put myself out there which is much more than I had done before. My job goal is definitely something I will be working on in 2019.
Another goal which I have sort of achieved is to break my comfort zone. This is such a broad concept but it is something that can be incredibly hard to do. This year I wouldn't say I went wild, I didn't give everything up for a backpacking trip across Asia but I did get out of the house. At the end of last year/the start of the year I avoided a lot of social events purely because I didn't feel confident enough. I wanted to go but I couldn't get myself out of the house. This Christmas I have lots planned with something happening basically every weekend up until Christmas. This time last year my calendar did not look this full. Not only that but I went on a hen party which is so far from what I am used to. It reminded me of my Uni days which I am nothing like now. It was really good fun and certainly an experience. If I didn't go I would have been so unbelievably annoyed with myself and even though I didn't feel fully up to it, I still feel proud that I went. Not only that but I went to my first wedding which involved staying away and also spending time with a lot of people I didn't really know but it was one of my favourite experiences of the year. Despite none of this sounding overly adventurous, I still feel like to an extent I have done things out of my comfort zone.
One big thing that was out of my comfort zone for a long time was sharing pictures of myself. Due to some of the skillful shots that most bloggers include on their blogs or Instagram, I always felt like my shots of myself were inferior and I also never felt confident within the way I looked. Both of these factors stopped me from including pictures of outfits and of makeup looks on my blog. I knew my blog was missing these types of pictures and had been for a while but I couldn't bring myself to start posting them. At the start of the year I decided I needed to include more pictures which show off the products I am talking about and I feel like there has been a definite improvement in regards to the amount of outfit and selfie pictures that have made their way to the blog. Not only that but I finally set up an Instagram account for the blog which has also allowed me to share more candid pictures of my outfits and looks which has also built up my confidence a little bit. This was a big one for me this year and I certainly feel like I have worked on it a great deal and it seems to have paid off. My most liked picture on Instagram this year is an outfit picture, something I wouldn't have posted at the start of the year. It just shows that a lot of the time our fears aren't always correct.
For the most part everything else had an element of success: I have definitely been reading more and spending less time mindlessly browsing the web. I saved money by stopping buying a coffee every single day and with that money I managed to buy myself an Aspinal of London bag (I am still drinking coffee though,) and to some extend I've gained confidence. I am no longer the massive wet wipe I was at the start of 2018. I am back to bad ass Sophie but one thing I most definitely failed on was taking note of the good things. Each day I wanted to write down 2-3 things that were positive in my day. However I would always forget to write things and in the end it became quite repetitive so I gave up. I couldn't do it anymore. I have just come to realise I am a negative person.
Even though I couldn't take away positives from my every day life, over the course of the past year I have been taking note of all of the positives that happen with my blog. I've always loved writing my blog and it is something I have consistently worked on so this year I wanted to see how much I could achieve through it. I do not set myself goals but I wanted to see progress and I definitely have. Before this year I never really knew what I had achieved through writing my blog but through keeping track of my progress, I can see a definite improvement in every stat I keep track of. I take note of the key engagement I get from brands and people I admire but the only real goal and I wanted to achieve was 20,000 overall views this year and I achieved that back in September. Since then I increased this target to 25,000 views and I completed that in November so I am thrilled with everything my blog has done this year and it has most certainly helped with my personal development.
Overall now that we are at the end of this year, despite some really shit things happening this year I do feel like I'm in a better place than I was a year ago and even though from an outside perspective not a lot has changed; Within me, I feel like a lot has. Hopefully this mental change can help me with some of the bigger changes I want to make next year but I guess we will see. I'm still thinking about the progress I want to make next year so I will write a post on it in the New Year looking at some of the targets I want to set myself.
You might also like:
|
|
|
|
|
0 Yorumlar